Just Once Only...

At this juncture she only has many random thoughts engulfing her mind...She is jittery for sure... a wandering mind and heart...questions unanswered...a bundle full of emotions that she does not want to release... (she hums to herself a song by Tagore... “Daariye acho tumi amar gaaner oparey...”)...

As she lay on her bed trying to find comfort her six year old daughter Raie hugs her and cuddles up to her..

Who is this She I am referring to?? Her name is Trishna fondly called Trishu by her loved ones...Trishna is married for the last 8 years...she is a English teacher, a mother, a wife and a wanderer...

Raie asks her mother to sing a song to her...Trishna looks at Raie and (hums another Tagore’s song.. “Khela Ghor Bandte Legechi Amar Moner Bhitore....)

The phone rings suddenly...“Trishna be ready today evening we are going to meet Akash he is in India”..said Raja (Trishna’s husband)

Trishna murmurs Akash ....and anger seems to grip her..as if she is overwhelmed in anguish..

She again hums “jey raaty mor duwar guli bhanglo jhorey jani nai toh tumi ele amar ghorey....”

Evening dawns and Trishna gets ready to meet Akash...Trishna dresses herself in a red saree, a metallic necklace, her eyes big and bright looked even brighter with a thick layer of kajal...and adorns her forehead with a perfect round vermillion bindi...

The vermillion bindi on her forehead seemed like the sun...the fiery red sun near its horizon by the clam sea...

Raja calls out to Trishna lets go Akash must be waiting... Trishna says I am ready...as she runs down the stairs she halts do arrange the pleats of her saree and thinks (Akash hmmm and waiting....)

Raja and Trishna arrive at Akash’s house...a melancholy sets in the dimly lit and artistically designed house of Akash...

 Akash in his early 30’s is dressed in a black kurta and a pair of blue denims...he wore a pair of rimless glasses...

As Trishna saw Akash after 8 long years she could not help herself and kept gazing at him standing beside the door... She hums “ektuku chowa lagey ektuku kotha shuni....”

Come in says Raja and ushers Trishna inside the house...as Trishna steps in she seems to have lost her poise and appeared to be in a frantic state of mind...

Akash for the first time looks at Trishna and tells her “You look so much more beautiful and gracious must be the love of Raja”...

Trishna sits down quietly...Raja brings out drinks to celebrate their reunion...cheers to our friendship...Akash looks at Trishna and says cheers to your happy married life...

An uproar of anger is seen in Trishna’s eyes...Raja senses an air on uneasiness between Trishna and Akash...he leaves them alone for a bit on the pretext of getting dinner...

For the first time in 8 years Trishna and Akash were infront of each other...

Akash- So how is your married life going..?? (when he uttered these words tears rolled down his cheeks)

Trishna- (very sternly said) Married life hmmmm good very good actually... I have a husband, a little princess Raie and a job what more does anybody want.... (she got up dragging herself close to the chair on which Akash was sitting)

Akash- (looks at Trishna...a blank gaze and murmurs) I am sorry...

Trishna- right I am also sorry...sorry about your wife...by the way you didn’t need to send me your wedding card you know... (she sits down near the feet of Akash weeping...the pleats of her saree plummets down...)

Akash- I married her because my mother wanted me to...you know my mother was unwell I had no time to take a decision (he draws Trishna close and looks at her eyes steaming in anger and rage)

Trishna- you never tried to contact me even once...send a message through someone...it was so easy for you to run away...you played with me...like a mad cap I kept looking for you...I even went to your hostel but from there too I could not get any information (she begins to hum “ami tomar preme hobo shobar kolonko bhagi...ami shokol dagi hobo dagi...kolonko bhagi) 

Akash- You also got married the next month...(Trishna looked up as if she would kill him)  Raja had mailed your wedding card...

Trishna- (Yells at Akash)... What was I supposed to do tell me...huh...(grabs him by the collar) wait for your wife to commit suicide and then you would come to me and then what huh... It was always about you...your dreams, your career, you you you...just you (she gets up in disgust and stands against the wall weeping)

Akash- I didn’t kill Brishti... I didn’t kill her (he screams and slams the table)

Trishna- you did...you killed all four of us...me, yourself, Brishti and Raja...One decision of yours changed everything...for ever (tears rolling down her eyes she again hums “Shoki bhabona kharey boley shokhi jatona khare boley...tomra je bolo dibosho rojoni..bhalobasha bhalobasha...shoki bhalobasha karey koi...shei ki keboli jatona moi......)

Raja enters the room he seems to know everything...he looks at Akash and questions Why Akash why did you do this to us...For 8 years I have been longing to see love for me in Trishna’s eyes but...she was Rambha to me as she lay beside me...but her heart was wondering and loathing...he is the janani of my child...but Akash (Raja gasps for breathe) I know Raie is not a child born out of the love between me and Trishna...

Akash- Time played the folly...each day each second in the last years I have lived with the guilt that I did not communicate...I did not try to reach out...I did not try...not even one try...may be nothing would change but atleast i should have tried...

(Akash’s voice lowers, his teary eyes look at Trishna....Trishna slowly moves near him and sits beside him)

Raja I killed Brishti... she was a blessed girl but I killed her...after our wedding we left for UK for ma’s treatment...one night Brishti confronted me...she asked the reason why I could not give her the place of my wife...why I did I lie to her... I lost my temper...and told her Akash can only quench the thirst of Trishna....

That night Brishti sat motionless when I fell asleep I didn’t know...when I woke up I saw Brishti still motionless but I knew she was gone...she left a note saying “Birshti is Akash’s”...

My mother also passed away a week later and my world came to an end...

Raja- you never contacted us then why after so many years are you here...you have brought in the turmoil we have been silently avoiding...

Akash- I have come to Trishna...I am Trishna’s sinner...I have come to ease her down, I cannot quench Trishna....but I ran away n now I am running back again...

Trishna- Running back is so easy?? Akash... if this was so we all would run back in time...what is done cannot be undone...  but yes if only...

You had tried to contact and communicate once things would have been different...truly different...

(she wipes her tears walks towards the door and says Akash Trishna was over the day you ran away...she weeps and hums “Shoki bhabona kharey boley shokhi jatona khare boley...tomra je bolo dibosho rojoni..bhalobasha bhalobasha...shoki bhalobasha karey koi...shei ki keboli jatona moi......)